Starship Titanic/Unused Audio/The Parrot

This is a sub-page of Starship Titanic/Unused Audio.

The Parrot

Filename	Audio	Transcript	Description
z454.01013.wav		Hello! Bloody hell, that BellBot always appears just when he's least wanted! Does he bring a chicken? Does he bring it now? Does he have a, bloody hell, no, no! *squawk* No, no!	The Parrot can't comment on bots entering the room.
z454.01026.wav		Bloody BellBot! Go away! Who wants a BellBot 'round the place?	As above.
z454.01039.wav		Mr. Snooty the DoorBot! Mr. Snooty, Mr. Footy! Mr. Snooty with no bloody food for a starving parrot!	As above, but for Fentible.
z454.01052.wav		ChatterBot alert! Beware, incoming ChatterBot at 6:00! Or whatever bloody time it is! Good joke, eh? Ah! Good example of parrot humor! *squawk*	As above, but this time for the scrapped ChatterBot robot! ChatterBot would apparently have been mobile just like Krage and Fentible. Additionally, with this being so close to related lines for the DoorBot and BellBot, ChatterBot is obviously not an early name for one of them, but a third robot entirely.
z454.01065.wav		BellBot alert! Beware, incoming BellBot at 3:00! Or whatever bloody time it is! Good joke, eh? We parrots like a good laugh! *laughter*	Another line like above for the Bellbot.
z454.01078.wav		DoorBot alert! Beware, incoming DoorBot at 10:00 or whatever bloody time it is! A-ha! I know you're not supposed to laugh at your own jokes, but sometimes, they're so funny, you just have to! *prolonged laughter*	As above but for the DoorBot. Goodness, he's annoying.
z454.01091.wav		*squawk* You wouldn't do this to a mallard, would you? Wouldn't do this to a bleedin' osprey! You wouldn't put a, a double-crested cormorant into one of these things! You wanna get your avian credit all sorted out, you do!	Unused line presumably for shoving the aggravating bird into the Succ-U-Bus.
z454.01104.wav		You wouldn't put a painted bunting into one of these things!	As above until otherwise specified.
z454.01117.wav		You wouldn't put an orange-crowned warbler into one of these things!
z454.01129.wav		You wouldn't put a northern waterthrush into one of these things!
z454.01141.wav		You wouldn't put an olive tree pipit into one of these things!
z454.01153.wav		You wouldn't put a northern rough-winged swallow into one of these things!
z454.01165.wav		You wouldn't put a, a melodious grassquit into one of these things!
z454.01191.wav		What's happening? What's happening? Oh, what's going on, what's going on? Who are you? What're you doing here? Who am I? What am I doing here? No use asking me for help, I'm just a bleedin' parrot!	Otherwise specified. The parrot appears to have a spontaneous massive existence failure of his brain.
z454.01204.wav		Okay, so I'm a parrot! I'm a parrot, OK! You got a problem with that? What'd you want, some kind of cormorant? Some kind of greater crested yellow sea-grebe? I'm a bleedin' parrot, for Zark's sake! Deal with it, deal with it!
z454.01217.wav		I didn't say anything about being a sane parrot, did I? Oh! Did I mention anything about sanity? Did I offer you any guarantee in the area of mental health? I just mentioned my species, not my state of mind! Deal with it, deal with it!
z454.01229.wav		You want to know what's going on here? You want to know what's going on here? I'll tell you what's going on here! I'll tell you: rampant ornithology, that's what! No no no, not "ornithology", I mean archaeology! Architecture! Rampant architecture!
z454.01242.wav		Okay, okay, I'll help you! Um, um, um... No I won't, no I won't! I'll just squawk at you instead. *squawking* Inconstancy, thy name is Parrot! *squawking*	Unused line for the parrot trying, then deciding against helping you out.
z454.01268.wav		*squawk* Oh, you again! What're you doing here? Not sucking up to that Maitre d'Bot, are you? Nice little tune you've got going there! Got a good beat! *squawking*	Presumably unused hint for the Music Room puzzle.
z454.01281.wav		*squawk* Oh, you again! What're you doing in here? Not sucking up to that Maitre d'Bot, are you? What's this? Music to wash your hair by? I'd rather have dandruff! *squawk*	As above.
z454.01294.wav		*squawk* Don't even think about thinking about what you're thinking of!	Presumably unused line for shoving the parrot into the Succ-U-Bus, or dumping him into your inventory.
z454.01307.wav		Don't you dare! I will not give in to this! I will not submit to this indignity! I won't have it! You hear? I won't have it, oh!	As above.
z454.01320.wav		Who do you think I am? Some sort of treat budgerigar? Some sort of bleedin' second-rate bullfinch? I'm a parrot, zark it! A self-respecting parrot! I'm not gonna be sucked into a pipe! Treat me with the respect my position in the catalogue of ornithology betokens! *squawking*	For the Succ-U-Bus.
z454.01333.wav		Oh, I get it! You think I'm some sort of no-good common yellowthroat! Well, I'm not! I'm a parrot! I don't do this stuff!
z454.01346.wav		Oh, I get it! You think I'm some sort of no-good curve-billed thrasher! Well, I'm not! I'm a parrot! I don't do this stuff!
z454.01359.wav		Oh, I get it! You think I'm some sort of no-good common nighthawk! Well, I'm not! I'm a parrot! I don't do this stuff!
z454.01372.wav		You think I'm some sort of no-good Clark's nutcracker? Well, I'm not! I'm a parrot! I don't do this stuff!
z454.01385.wav		Oh, I get it! You think I'm some sort of no-good chimney swift! Well, I'm not! I'm a parrot! I don't do this stuff!
z454.01398.wav		Oh, I get it! You think I'm some sort of no-good purple gallinule! Well, I'm not! I'm a parrot! I don't do this stuff!
z454.01411.wav		Oh, I get it! You think I'm some sort of no-good red-breasted sapsucker! Well, I'm not! I'm a parrot! I don't do this stuff!
z454.01424.wav		Oh, I get it! You think I'm some sort of no-good rough-legged hawk! Well, I'm not! I'm a parrot! I don't do this stuff!
z454.01591.wav		*squawking* My ship's got no nose! How does it smell? It can't! It hasn't got a nose, don't you bleedin' listen? *laughter* Just what you needed, eh? A funny parrot! *laughter*	Unused hint for Titania's nose puzzle.
z454.01604.wav		*squawking* My ship's got no olfactory centre! How does it smell? It can't! It hasn't got an olfactory centre, don't you bleedin' listen? *laughter* An acquired taste, isn't it, parrot jokes? An acquired taste! Bet you haven't acquired it yet! In fact, you haven't even acquired the olfactory centre! Looked in everybody's pockets yet, have you? Looked up everybody's nose? *laughter* *squawking*	As above, but for the olfactory centre.
z454.01668.wav		Ouch! No!	Probably intended either for hitting the parrot with an item, or else for yeeting him off his perch.
z454.01681.wav		*squawk* I said don't!	As above until otherwise specified.
z454.01693.wav		Excuse me! No prodding, please!
z454.01705.wav		I said, no prodding, please!
z454.01718.wav		No prodding! I said no prodding!
z454.01731.wav		You think I'm some kind of barnacled goose you can prod? You think I'm some kind of bay-breasted warbler to make free with? You think I'm some kind of black-bellied plover you can push off his perch?
z454.01757.wav		Oy! Okay! We haven't even been introduced! Get your mammalian mitts off me! I will not be handled like this! *squawking*	Otherwise specified. This line is intended for yoinking the parrot away from his perch.
z454.01770.wav		Stop it, stop it! Oh, the indignity! I'm a respectable parrot, you know! Not some bloody canary! I'm not some thrush tart! I'm not some pink-footed shearwater you can make free with, but a parrot! A parrot, you hear? You can't buy my favors with a bowl of pistachio nuts! ...Well, you can actually, but that's got to be an actual bowl of actual pistachio nuts, not some fake promise of maybe some pistachio nuts in some fantasy future! Unhand me! Unhand me!	Related or otherwise similar to the above until such time as we specify specifically as to the contrary.
z454.01783.wav		Stop it, stop it! Oh, oh, the indignity! I'm a respectable parrot, you know! Not some bloody canary! I'm not some thrush tart! I'm not some pink-footed shearwater you can make free with, but a parrot! A parrot, you hear? You can't buy my favors with a bowl of pistachio nuts! ...Well, you can actually, but that's got to be an actual bowl of actual pistachio nuts, not some fake promise of maybe some pistachio nuts in some fantasy future! Unhand me! Unhand me!
z454.01796.wav		I'm not some dusky flycatcher you can make free with!
z454.01809.wav		I'm not some golden-cheeked warbler you can make free with!
z454.01822.wav		You think I'm some kind of eastern screech owl you can prod? You think I'm some kind of blossom-headed parakeet to make free with?
z454.01834.wav		I'm not some fork-tailed storm petrel you can make free with! I'm a parrot!
z454.01847.wav		Stop it! I shall draw blood, I shall draw blood! You think I won't, but I will! You think I won't, but I will!
z454.01859.wav		You think I'm some kind of piping plover you can push off his perch?!
z454.01872.wav		*squawking* Those are my nuts! I claim them by right of being a parrot! Get off them, get off them, shoo, vamoose! *squawking*	Most likely for fiddling with the Second Class bedroom's bowl of nuts with the parrot present. Or something completely different.
z454.01885.wav		*squawk* Those are still my pistachios! Did I suddenly relinquish my right to my pistachios since I last spoke? I think not! Get off ya good—	As above; file possibly cuts off early.
z454.01897.wav		Get off my nuts! Get off, go, shoo, vamoose! *squawking*	As above.
z454.02360.wav		Where's my perch? Where's my perch? I will not work without a perch! *squawk*	Unused line for the Parrot's perch not being replaced in his cage.
z454.02373.wav		Where's my perch? Where's my perch? What am I going to perch on if I haven't got a perch to perch on?
z454.02539.wav		Don't mind if I do, don't mind if I do! Pint of lager with a packet of crisps, but I'll take it in my cage if that's alright with you!	Presumably for trying to convince the parrot to leave his cage by use of food via the text parser.
z454.02564.wav		*squawk* Yikes! That bird didn't used to fly when it was alive!	Presumably for chicken.
z454.02577.wav		*squawk* Yikes! Fast food!	Probably a joke about the chicken zooming out of the SGT restaurant while incorrectly calibrated.
z454.02590.wav		*squawk* So many chickens, so little time!	You can't dispense multiple chickens, but presumably this line was intended for spamming the dispense button while the SGT restaurant was incorrectly calibrated.
z454.02716.wav		Witless pabulum for the masses, that's all it is! Never shows a decent bit of chicken!	Presumably the parrot commenting on your television-viewing habits.
z454.02729.wav		Chicken! Oh! Chicken! Oh! There's a chicken channel! *bird noises* Nobody told me there was a chicken channel! Buttons! This is the medium of the future! Wall-to-wall chickens! Digital chickens! Virtual chickens! Interactive chickens! But what about hot, steaming chickens you can actually eat?	Apparently there was supposed to be a Chicken Channel on the ship's television service? No wonder he enjoys watching TV so much.
z454.02741.wav		Just because they were only a bunch of starlings doesn't mean you can go around pureeing them!	Either intended immediately after blending the starlings on the promenade, or else for trying to give the Parrot chicken coated in starling puree.
z454.02753.wav		You wouldn't do that to a wisp of snipe!	Likely related to above until specified otherwise.
z454.02766.wav		You wouldn't do that to a charm of finches!
z454.02778.wav		You wouldn't do that to a covey of partridges!
z454.02791.wav		You wouldn't do that to an exaltation of larks!
z454.02804.wav		You wouldn't do that to a kettle of hawks!
z454.02817.wav		You wouldn't do that to a spring of teal!
z454.02829.wav		You wouldn't do that to a wedge of swans!
z454.02842.wav		*squawk* What's going on here? Everyone's looking a bit peaky today, aren't they? Nice music, though! I like something you can get a good squawk going to! *prolonged squawking*	Presumably unused music room comment.
z454.02855.wav		*squawk* What's going on here? Everyone's looking a bit peaky today, aren't they? Ooh, I hate this kind of slushy music! Makes me want to spit!	As above.
z454.02881.wav		*wings flapping throughout* *squawk* The bells, the bells! *laughter* *squawk*	As above but with different editing for some reason.
z454.02894.wav		*wings flapping throughout* *squawk* The bells, the bells! *laughter* *squawk* Gets funnier every time, does it? *laughter*	As above, still with specific editing.
z454.02907.wav		Nothing you want to know about! It sucks things and it blows things. Don't even think about it! Things disappear. Things appear! Things are not where they ought to be all of a sudden! Bloody unhealthy, don't go near it, I wouldn't!	Another line for either sending the parrot through the Succ-U-Bus, or else for enquiring about sending yourself.