Development:Duke Nukem Forever/2000 Story Script
This is a sub-page of Development:Duke Nukem Forever.
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On August 14, 2024, Scott Miller released four pages of an early Duke Nukem Forever script, with four more images released by him the next day. According to Miller, this script was written by a freelance writer (not named by Miller) who had been hired by George Broussard.
Gallery
Pages 1-4
ZONE 1: Las Vegas: Viva Lost Wages! LEVEL 1: The Lady Killer
EXT. THE LADYKILLER CASINO NIGHT
BEAUTIFUL SCANTILY CLAD WOMEN stream into the big, wide open front doors of The Lady Killer Casino. A PULSING ROCK BEAT hammers the air. SFX: Slot machines.
VARIOUS FEMALE VOICES
Is Duke here tonight?
Is his gun really that big?
Sister, it's a double-barreled magnum!
How do I get to meet him?
Ohmigod! Where's Duke? Where's Duke?
I can't believe I really came here!
I've already come here twice!
Me so horny!
PAN UP to show a huge marquee that runs up the side of this towering casino; it reads "GRAND OPENING" under a flashing neon logo for THE LADY KILLER. MOVE IN TIGHT on this logo to show DUKE NUKEM looking down on the flesh parade below with a cocky, lecherous grin (is there a clever visual we can use, like Duke standing between the parted lips of a giant neon woman?). He POPS a champagne cork; the champagne gushes out in a suggestive manner.
DUKE
That's it, babes. Come to Papa Duke. He knooooooows what you want!
Continue MOVING THROUGH to:
INT. LADY KILLER PENTHOUSE NIGHT
Duke turns from the window facing the Las Vegas Strip to GENERAL PHIL GRAVES. Graves holds a champagne glass in one hand; the other is hidden behind him (this will be the hand holding the present). Duke pours him a glass of champagne.
GRAVES
Some fine looking customers, Duke.
DUKE
Global-class boneramas, General. Nothin' but the best for me and my...well, for me, I guess.
Graves hands Duke the present: A fancy cigar box.
GRAVES
Then you'll appreciate these: Genuine Clintonistas from Havana.
DUKE
Aw, General, ya shouldn't have...
Duke takes a cigar and examines the case.
DUKE
But knowing you, there's gotta be more to this box than meets the eye...
CLOSE ON the box. Duke locates a secret button and is about to press it when he hears:
HOT TUB BABE (O.S.)
Duuuuuuuuukey...
BACK TO INT. PENTHOUSE BUT A DIFFERENT ANGLE
Duke and Graves look over to a BUBBLING hot tub where an apparently nude HOT TUB BABE lounges in the foamy water.
HOT TUB BABE
Shouldn't we be snorkeling?
CLOSE ON THE CIGAR BOX as Duke puts it down on a table.
GRAVES (O.S.)
Henh-henh...I'll just leave you two alone and go play the one-armed bandit.
ON THE HOT TUB
Duke steps up to the hot tub but before he can climb in there's a TELEPHONE BEEP and then on a speaker phone:
PRESIDENT (O.S.)
(telephone filter)
Hey, there, Duke Dog! This is the Ol' Poon-Chaser!
Duke snaps to attention and salutes.
DUKE
Mr. President! Sir!
EXT. LAS VEGAS STRIP NIGHT
PAN WITH Marine 1 helicopter flying to The Lady Killer.
PRESIDENT (O.S.)
(telephone)
I ditched the bitch-- er, I left the First Lady behind for a weekend of serious chick chasing.
DUKE (O.S.)
(telephone)
Then come on in, you ol' horn-dog!
I'll turn on the helipad lights!
But as Marine 1 flies past the StratosFear casino, a guided missile ROARS out from the roof and BAM! hits the copter! Marine 1 rotors out of control towards the Las Vegas Strip.
INT. PENTHOUSE NIGHT Duke looks out a window and watches with horror, the Hot Tub Babe still in the foamy water behind him.
DUKE
Mr. President!
HOT TUB BABE
Oh, don't worry about him, Dukey-pukey.
Tentacles suddenly rush from her mouth.
HOT TUB BABE
(alien voice)
Worry about me!
CLOSE ON THE CIGAR BOX
Duke grabs it and pushes the secret button. A Gold Desert Eagle leaps from its hidden compartment and into his hand.
INT. PENTHOUSE ON DUKE
He whirls and fires.
DUKE
Bite on the big one, bitch!
BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM! BLAM-BLAM! ("Shave-and-a-hair- cut. Two-bits.") The dead Alien sinks into the hot tub. Suddenly the TELEPHONE BEEPS. Duke looks up as he hears:
SEXY FEMALE VOICE
Is he dead?
DUKE
Computer! Trace that call!
SEXY FEMALE VOICE
Is Duke Nukem dead?
DUKE
Baby, I've only just begun to live...
SFX: Phone click and dial tone, then computer beeps.
COMPUTER
Call. Origin. Stratos Fear. Casino.
Duke whirls to look out the window at the Stratos Fear casino just as another missile ROARS straight at him.
DUKE
Mammy-jammer!
He dives into the hot tub. We hear a FLUSHING SOUND then KA-BLOOM! A terrific explosion rips the penthouse apart!
Pages 5-8
ZONE 1: Viva Lost Wages
LEVEL 4: Slick Willy's
EXT. SLICK WILLY'S NIGHT
A cheesy joint outside Las Vegas. A BLINKING NEON MARQUEE reads: SLICK WILLY'S LIVE GIRLS! 'NO COVER IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE.'
Duke and Will Stiff approach the front door.
WILL STIFF
(reading)
"Live Girls." Who wants a DEAD one?
DUKE
Don't get out much, do you, Will.
INT. SLICK WILLY'S
PAN AROUND the interior of this strip bar. Lotsa scantily clad/semi-nude WAITRESSES pumping CUSTOMERS...for drinks. Will Stiff is talking on a cell phone over the SLEAZY STRIP JOINT MUSIC and B.G. WALLA
WILL STIFF
This is Agent Will Stiff. We're at Slick Willy's but there's no sign of the President.
(listens)
Yes, sir. We know it may be a trap but we'll keep looking.
FOLLOW Will Stiff as he walks over to a stage where Duke sits ringside, a huge stash of dollar bills in his hand. Duke is leaning forward eagerly, watching the action (I don't know how much you can show, so you may want to stage this with the dancers O.S.)
DUKE
Yeaaaaaah! Go, baby, GO!
WILL STIFF
Simmer down, big fella. You won't find the President in there.
DUKE
Wanna bet?
One of the dancers, BOMBSHELL, leans over to speak to Duke.
BOMBSHELL
(seductively)
Hey, big boy, wanna go in BombShell's back room for a private lap dance?
DUKE
Henh-henh babe, it may start out a lap dance, but it's gonna end up a pole dance!
INT. BACK ROOM
BombShell leads Duke into this small back room.
BOMBSHELL Take a seat.
DUKE Sure.
Duke grabs her ass. She playfully swats him away.
BombShell starts some SLEAZY STRIP JOINT MUSIC on a small tape deck then WALKS O.S.
BOMBSHELL
Let me slip out of my costume and into something more...comfortable...
DUKE What? A coat of whip cream?
Duke slips on his S.O.S. shades.
GRAVES (V.O.)
(sotto voce) [sic]
Thanks for putting on your S.O.S. shades, Duke! I wanna follow this action up close!
DUKE
(sotto voce) [sic]
I've heard this girl's voice before, General! See if you can i.d. her.
(louder; to BombShell)
So, whatcha got planned for me, babe?
BOMBSHELL
Take a look between your legs.
CLOSE ON THE CHAIR UNDER DUKE
BOMBSHELL (CONT'D)
When you sat down, you activated a pressure sensitive time fuse in that chair.
BACK TO INT. BACK ROOM
BombShell WALKS BACK INTO FRAME, now dressed in traveling clothes.
DUKE
Puts a whole new spin on the phrase, 'blow job.'
BOMBSHELL
Get up before the music stops, you go boom-boom. Bye-bye.
She leaves.
GRAVES (V.O.)
Damn, Duke. You're screwed.
DUKE
I wish! It's been nearly an hour since I got any action.
GRAVES (V.O.)
Stay put! I'll send a bomb disposal team
DUKE
No time!
END SCENE
MISC. FIGHT STUFF(if we need it)
INT. SLICK WILLY'S
Duke finds himself facing several BIG BOUNCERS. Bouncer #1 is already holding Will Stiff by the collar.
BOUNCER #1
What's your story, dickweed?
